From:
Zr1427@cs.com
To:
blackecho
Subject: Keep up the good work
Sent:
Sun, 23 May 2004 20:54:10 EDT
I will tell you now that I am ride Harleys, but who cares about that. I just
want you to keep pumping up kids to buy those fast bad ass bikes. I started a
salvage yard just over 2 years and I am making a killing. Not many people can
hande that
kind of performance and it shows, they are droping like flies. And I have more
chrome on all four of my HD's than god should allow. I need a bakers 6 speed to
go with my 107ci, so push CBR929RR, and the Hayabusa, they really bring in the
jack. Say all you want about me, wife, kids, penis, I dont care just keep the
money coming this way. Looking forward for you to kill more - no, tell more
people about your products.
_____________________
To
which I have replied...
_____________________
“I will tell you now that I am ride Harleys, but who cares about that.”
Your poor old
English teacher must have cried herself to sleep every night. Oh, I had a very good laugh at your email mostly because of its
wholly ridiculous nature. “I am ride Harleys?” What pure redneck prose! Can
anyone out there tell me just what the hell “I am ride Harleys” means?
No?
I
thought not.
It’s not that I really expect much intelligence from these hayfucks, but every
once in a while, I would think that it would be nice if at least one of the
proud owners of “thuh gray-tust gawd-dahm motuh sikkel in thuh hole wurl”
would be able to submit to me at least a somewhat intelligent email.
“I just want you to keep pumping up kids to buy those fast bad ass bikes.”
I smiled when you referred to “those fast bad ass bikes”
mainly because you didn’t understand that you were, of course, talking about
import motorcycles when you used those five words strung together in that
descriptive manner. Nothing produced by Harley Davidson or built in Milwaukee could
ever be
considered to be either fast or bad ass, that is, unless you welded a rocket to
it or put it on an emergency crash diet plan the likes of which would make Jenny
Craig get moister than a Duncan Hynes cake mix.
As for idiots on sport bikes (we call them “squids”), I’ll be the first to tell
you that there are a lot of young fools out there on sport bikes, kids who don’t
have a clue, who dye their hair, poke metal through their bodies, listen to (c)rap
music, talk like you email, and generally try to live up to some make believe
image while trying to be something that they aren’t (kind of like your typical
Harley rider only without the (c)rap music part). However, I would also bet that
there are far fewer stupid kids on sport bikes than there are dumb ass inbred
rednecks riding around on Harleys. The ratios aren’t even close. Sport bikes, by
their very nature, require far more intelligence to own than your typical
Milwaukee product.
Nowhere on my site will you find me offering advice on buying the biggest,
fastest crotch rocket as your first bike; quite the opposite in fact. I
recommend you start out small and work your way up in size until you find a
displacement and weight of bike that you can handle well and enjoy. My main
philosophy on owning a sport bike is “with great power comes great
responsibility” followed closely by “the throttle works both ways.”
The reason that young people are buying these super-fast bikes and getting hurt
or seriously killed by doing something stupid isn’t a result of anything that
they have read on my site, rather it is the cumulative result of having both
watched and digested, in whole, such abominable abortions of common sense and
good taste as “The Fast and the Furious (1 & 2),” “Biker Boyz” and
now “Torque.” Hollywood is to blame for most of the go fast, die young
subculture today, not my website but then no one ever claimed that pop culture
was geared for anything but the lowest common denominator in society. The
truth is, you have to be smarter than what you watch.
“I started a salvage yard just over 2 years and I am making a killing. Not many
people can hande (sp) that kind of performance and
it shows, they are droping (sp) like flies.”
Well, since you are a proud Harley owner, going into the
salvage business was a obviously a natural choice for you since you are already
more than adequately acquainted with the process of buying junk.
However, I’m a little confused on the point you were trying to make. Did it take
you two years just to start a salvage yard or did you start a salvage yard over
two years ago? If it has taken you over two years to get a salvage yard up and
running, then I honestly could see it taking that long just to get going,
especially if it was being run by someone who owns a Harley. After all, owning a
Harley is the first sign that you don’t have any financial experience or any
kind of a head for business.
I really don’t like how you describe your personal success as “making a
killing” while you go and attribute your success to other riders, especially
young people, dying on sport bikes. Your financial livelihood apparently comes
from the misery and suffering of others and you’re not only happy about that but
you’re actually quite proud of it. That’s pretty fucking ghoulish in my opinion
and your bragging about it only makes it more so. You claim to own a salvage
yard? It doesn’t sound like you’ve got a salvage yard at all, it sounds more
like you have a cemetery and that you’re nothing more than a lowlife grave
robber. I've got about as much respect for you as I would a lawyer who
chases ambulances.
“And I have more chrome on all four of my HD's than god
(God?) should allow.”
Ah, good! Another overt chromosexual!
Wow!
You actually have four Harleys? Do they all work or are you keeping three of
them around as spare parts for the only one that actually does occasionally
manage to crank and stay running? Are all of
your Harleys sitting in your front yard? My guess is that they probably are. I
honestly believe that having four Harleys sitting in your front yard legally qualifies your
property as a salvage yard in its own right in most jurisdictions.
You do realize, of course, that owning multiple Harleys is a not a sign of
tremendous success, but rather a sign of failure in both basic education and
common sense. Let me break Harley ownership down for you using the following
chart to help you understand the situation you are in.
What do you call it when you have one Harley? Gullible.
What do you call it when you have two Harleys? Masochistic.
What do you call it when you have three Harleys? Severe mental retardation.
What do you call it when you have four Harleys? Salvage yard.
What do you call it when you have five Harleys or more? HD Dealership.
Personally, I really don’t think God has any limits on chrome, just like I don’t
think He has any limits on stupidity. If the good Lord Almighty, in His infinite
wisdom, actually had put limits on either chrome or stupidity, even very
generous and liberal limits, then I’m afraid that Milwaukee and Sturgis would have long ago
suffered the same fate as Sodom and Gomorrah. Since Harley Davidson and Sturgis
are both still around and doing fine, we can at least assume that there is
apparently no limit on stupidity (at least from a religious standpoint). There
is an old saying; “God must love stupid people because He made so many of them.”
The sad fact is, most of them ride a Harley.
Why did you feel the need to put so much chrome on your Harleys? My guess is
that you did that in order to make the parts that rattle loose and fall off of
your bike easier to find in the tall grass on the shoulder of the highway when
you double back to pick them up.
“I need a bakers 6 speed to go with my 107ci, so push CBR929RR, and the Hayabusa,
they really bring in the jack.”
I laughingly see that you claim that you actually need a Bakers
six speed. Why in the world would you need a six speed transmission for
your Harley? That’s like saying you need a Dyers 6-71 blower for your bone stock Ford
Escort. I’m just not convinced that Harleys make enough power to ever warrant
the use of a six speed transmission.
You need a Bakers six speed?!
Oh for the love of Arlen Ness…
Now, sir, let’s be blatantly honest here … Just how many gears do you really
need to ride your bike up and down from its tow trailer and putt-putt around
town annoying the ever living fuck out of all the decent motorists? I truly
doubt that it is any where near six gears but you’re certainly welcome to dream
big! Wanting a six speed for your Harley redefines the term “optimism.”
Harleys, by their very nature and design, are not particularly high revvers or
deep breathers therefore they don’t really have very long legs to stretch (think
along the lines of an overweight Ewok, not an Olympic sprinter). What little
power that your tired old motor does manage to begrudgingly belch out is found
way down low in the RPM band. Personally I would never, ever kick a Harley up
into sixth gear because I’d be afraid that at that gear ratio, the engine RPMs
would probably nose dive down into the single digits. Hell, I bet that if you
were riding along on your Harley in sixth gear, you could probably slap your
thigh in time to the rise and fall of those two big, old, rusty pistons.
No. I’d say you’d be better off with a three speed transmission (two forward and
one reverse gear) and that’s probably still one forward gear too many for the
average amount of use that most Harleys get put through on a weekly basis.
“Say all you want about me, wife, kids, penis, I dont
(don’t) care just keep the money coming this way. Looking forward for you
to kill more - no, tell more people about your products.”
Has the rampant Harley greed really gotten so out of control that inbred shit
twinkles like you are so desperate to trick out your rolling, redneck wet dreams
that you’ll actually now go as far as to openly advocate the expedited death of
young kids, riding bikes different from yours, all in order to make your
pathetic chrome dipped trailer park fantasies come true?
Apparently so and I find that the only thing in this world more deplorable than
you are.