Rally Whore?
By Dexter Brooke
Submitted by TSTUBBS
I know that next year is the 100th
anniversary of Harley Davidson, but can we please just cancel the stupid Rally and put us
all out of our misery.
The original spirit and decadence of the
Rally- rogue characters, cool motorcycles, lots of booze, and lose women all meeting in
the Black Hills for some camaraderie and fun-like nearly everything else- has all but been
packaged up, sold out, and ruined by corporate America.
Back in the day, the tag line if you
have to ask, youll never understand, stood for a certain way of life; a
particular kind of freedom kept close to the heart by real bikers. It verbally flipped-off convention and said you
will never enslave me to your bullshit ways. Now
all it means is Im just another yuppie with a ton of disposable income, a week
of vacation time, and a motorcycle.
So, instead of just jumping on the
bandwagon of greed, lets have the guts to face facts.
The Rally has become just another corporate whore; one more lame,
middle-class convention where anyone with enough money to buy an over-priced motorcycle
and a black tee-shirt can pretend to escape from the suburban existence for a few days and
pretend that they are a biker. The bitter
irony is that now, instead of it being about freedom, it is about truck loads of marketing
crap that enslaves everyone in the first place. Its
like being at the mall, except you get to tie a bandanna around your head and look like a
rebel biker while you do it. Cool in the same
manner Fonzie was when he moved above the Cunninghams garage.
And speaking of the mall, once a mall is
involved in a motorcycle rally- like ours was this year- it has officially become uncool. Based on this fact alone, the Rally needs to be
cancelled, all evidence of what it has become gathered in a central location and burned,
the ashes hauled away to a remote and distant place, the ground it was burned on salted
and sterilized so such a thing can never grow again. It
is only in this way that the entire nightmare of what greed did to the Rally an become a
faded, distant memory told around camp fires in the years to come as a warning to anyone
who would otherwise ruin a good thing by materialism and cupidity.
The fight to get to the mouth of the cash
cow by the locals is as sad as anything. Every
business fights for a way to make some extra scratch off the Rally, even those that have
nothing whatsoever to do with motorcycle riding. Those
that do, like the gas stations, hotels, restaurants and beer joints, gouge Rally-goers by
raising prices for that one week. Who knows
how many lawyers send cease and desist letters on behalf of clients fighting over who gets
to use terms such as Sturgis, The Black Hills Rally, or Harley
Davidson. Its a charade now, a
caricature of a biker rally, but not one.
Its not simply that the Rally is
going through a transition stage, either, as I have heard some postulate. Its been turned into something different,
like some kind of huge home show for the disillusioned yuppies; those who found the
fast-track to a profession, trade, or mid-level management not as inherently satisfying as
their school counselors would have had them believe. It
is not what it is supposed to be, and so in the end, why dont we at least have some
respect for what it once was, take it out back, and shoot it. Lets just end it right now, before it
completely becomes an old Elvis parody of its younger days. The truth is that, over the years, it has been good
to us. Lets not let it die an
embarrassing parody of itself, fat, stupefied, and sitting on the crapper like The King
did.
We owe it that much.
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