From:              Jim Sayers twocam37@gmail.com
To:                   Me
Date:               Thu, Oct 24, 2013 at 8:23 AM
Subject:          Mr jimmy

Hey we did mange to locate you do you think it correct that everybody follows your choice of buying imports .

I understand your all thumbs ..

There nothing slow about my Harley

I don't have a fairing or saddlebags

I built my own motor can you do that

I kicked the E P A out of my motor

Can you do that

I own my own business

Do you

If so what do you do

Now grass

Why don't you start a Harley haters rally

My number is 540 320 5643

Call me if your man enough

I doubt you will live past 42 years

My opinion about Jap bikes they handle like crap look like crap sound like crap

Bring it on loser

_______________

To which I replied

_______________

Hello, Jimmy,

“Hey we did mange to locate you do you think it correct that everybody follows your choice of buying imports .”

Wow!  Now that’s a run-on sentence if I ever saw one! 

How did you “mange” to locate me, Mr. Jimmy?  I thought “mange” was a skin disease of animals caused by parasites and not a substitute for Google Maps.  Also, you asked a question but ended it with a period … kind of like your last attempt at sex.

“I understand your all thumbs ..”

“Your” is a possessive pronoun, it indicates that you are saying that I own something.  I believe that you meant to use the contraction “you’re” which stands for “you are” but since you and punctuation of any kind seem to be complete strangers to each other I'll understand your inability to use apostrophes.   I own many nice things, I’m quite the eclectic collector, but I can’t for the life of me remember ever owning anything called an “all thumbs.”  Is it some form of sex toy, maybe like a Sybian but for hipsters?   I’m not sure what you mean by telling me that you understand my all thumbs. 

Now, as far as understanding goes, I understand that you’re both ignorant and unable to type.

“There nothing slow about my Harley”

What is funny about that particular statement is the fact that there is obviously something very slow about your Harley and that particular slow part is located between the seat and the handlebars …

“I don't have a fairing or saddlebags”

Well, Jimmy, you don’t really need those if you trailer your Harley everywhere you go and only ride it in good weather.

“I built my own motor can you do that”

That is a statement, a question, and a run-on sentence.  No, I didn’t build my own motor because I didn’t have to build my own motor.  You see, unlike your Harley my Honda came stock with a pretty kick-ass motor.  Honda built my motor for me and they used many decades of applied science, high technology, cutting edge engineering and world championship winning experience to do so (four things that Harley Davidson has none of). 

My engine displaces 36 cubic inches and produces 115 horsepower. 

Stock.   

How much power does your rebuilt motor produce now?   

How many cubic inches does it displace now?

How much did it cost to get it right the second time, if in fact you actually did get it right the second time.

The fact is that you had to rebuild your motor in order to get any power out of it whereas I did not is just indicative of your faith in a company that only has one aspect to build their motorcycles on; style. 

Now, if we put your rebuilt motor and my stock motor on a bar graph, you’ll still find that, cubic inch for cubic inch, I make more power than you.  Maybe one day you’ll stop trying to hot rod outdated farm equipment and you’ll get a real engine to play with.  Until that day, keep on banging hammers and twisting wrenches on that irrigation pump you call a motor while erroneously thinking that you are “skilled”.  There’s a big difference between someone who rebuilds Formula 1 engines and someone who rebuilds lawn mower and weedeater engines.  Please don’t ever think of yourself as “skilled”, you’ll only be disappointed when someone who actually is skilled in motor building calls you on your folly. 

“I kicked the E P A out of my motor” 

It’s a fact that stuff like emissions, electronic engine control systems and computer controlled fuel injection are not realms of the shallow-minded or the mechanically inept.  There’s also an old saying that you’re only as smart as the most complicated piece of equipment that you can work on and being able to work on a Harley does not rank you very high on the IQ scale. 

Simple minds, simple machines, Jimmy.

“Can you do that” 

I don’t have to do that, Jimmy.  I’ve got 115 horsepower, stock, with all emissions, electronic engine controls and computer controlled fuel injection in place.  I have a 36 cubic inch liquid cooled, high compression, inline four cylinder that has double overhead cams, four valves per cylinder, and eight fuel injectors.  I can run a 10.6 quarter mile at 130 plus miles per hour, top out at 165 plus miles an hour when the tach needle swings all the right towards the 15,000 rpm redline, and still get 42 plus miles per gallon while idling quiet as a purring kitten in traffic. 

Let me know when your Harley can do all of that. 

No, if I wanted to make my Honda act and perform like a Harley I’d just take out three of the four spark plugs and run it on cheap gas. 

“I own my own business” 

I’m sure your used car lot / bait shop / video rental / tanning salon does a lot of business with the local trailer park. 

Congratulations on having your own business. 

You’re still an idiot. 

“Do you” 

I did but I gave it up in pursuit of my hobbies.  Leisure rules!  I may get back to what I used to do but I'm going to wait until the economy gets better (i.e. we get a new president) before I dump any money into big ass personal projects.

“If so what do you do”

What do I do right now?  I'm head of an IT department that covers one fifth of the state where I live.  I work three jobs, days and nights and weekends and holidays.  Two of those jobs require a firearm, a badge, and highly specialized training.  Sometimes I work for 36 to 48 hours at a time with only one or two hours of sleep to break that up.  When I can, I freelance my many talents out for hire and make some nice money on the side.  It’s a living but more important it’s an adventure.

 “Now grass”

Which I’m guessing is the illegal substance that you’ve abused way too much of in your life.

“Why don't you start a Harley haters rally”

Why should I?  Or, in other words, what’s in it for me, Jimmy?  One thing you failed to understand in visiting my website is that I am a loner and a misanthrope ... that means I prefer to be alone and I don't like people, especially stupid people.  Organizing a rally of any kind would involve meeting new people, being around lots of people and having to organize them.  That doesn't sound like fun to me.

I'll pass.

“My number is 540 320 5643 Call me if your man enough”

The wrong use of a possessive pronoun once again presents a somewhat humorous example of your basic stupidity and your lack of education.  It’s not that I’m not man enough to call you, Jimmy, rather it’s the fact that you’re just not smart enough for me to want to talk to you.   It is rather obvious that you were a dropout from mobile home schooling and lack any kind of higher education except possibly a trade certificate or two which, in lieu of a formal education, has probably allowed you to survive (yet hopefully not allowed you to breed).

Thank you for sharing your phone number with me, though I would advise not holding your breath for me to call you because truth be known I really can’t afford to waste the myriad of brain cells that it would take in order to actually hear you attempt to knuckle drag your way through even a simple conversation with me.

“I doubt you will live past 42 years”

I’ll be 45 next year, Jimmy.  I plan on riding imports and sportbikes as long as I ride.

“My opinion about Jap bikes they handle like crap look like crap sound like crap”

Maybe your rather simple opinion actually means something to your inbred, double-wide dwelling neighbors in the trailer park where you reside but the truth is that your opinion carries exactly zero value to me simply because I understand that the opinion of the uneducated and the uninformed is hardly worth noting, Jimmy.  You can hate Japanese bikes all you want … it won’t change the fact that if Harley hadn’t started copying the Japanese in the early 1980’s then Harley Davidson wouldn’t be in business today.

“Bring it on loser”

I think I just did and I think you just got owned.

Dullard.

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