Dude,
Fall of the Ninja one too many times?? You state, and I quote "I ride what I ride because that is my choice. That is my preference. I ride what I feel that I need to ride in order to enjoy my skills and my time spent riding." So why can't someone ride a Harley and enjoy what they ride? You are a narrow minded individual. Just because a crotch rocket goes faster than a cruiser, doesn't mean it's better. It all personal preference. A v-twin will not, can not, produce the same power as an inline 4. As for HD owners being lemmings, then what are you by following the same pathetic mentality as other squids? BTW, I DO NOT own a Harley, I ride Red. Honda Shadow ACE. "If you can't ride fast, if you can't ride well, then by all means, get something that is slower, get something that makes you look good." Quick physics lesson - the faster an object on two wheels goes, the easier it is to keep it upright. I do not wish to do more than the legal speed limit. I like having a ride that looks good getting from point A to point B, and people can see my bike while doing that. "A sport bike isn't a motorcycle, it's more like an extension of your body, your mind, your heart, and your soul." Sound slike it's your version of the said prothstetic attachment. You also make a comment about all HD riders looking alike with their chaps and jackets and vests. Well at least they don't look like circus clowns wearing a multitude of florescent colors. There is plenty of room on the road for all riders of all makes and models. "You won't see me going around to every rider about to get on a Harley and saying "Hey, you! Why don't you get a real bike!" - Uh.......what are you doing throughout this whole tyraid?? You have said that a Harley isn't a real bike. At least most Harley riders will tell you to your face, you hide behind a web page. Not only have you bashed HD with your assenine remarks, but the whole cruiser community as well. I have respect for any rider, no matter what they ride. Cruiser, sport, standard, naked street, dirt, moped, whatever. I believe you said it was all about personal choice. Why not allow other riders the freedom and respect you so badly complain about.

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To Which I Replied

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“Get a life.”

Thank you for that wish, Sparky, but I must decline your offer for you see, I’ve got more than enough ‘life’ for three or four people right now, thank you so very much. Police officer, SWAT team member, SWAT team Intelligence Officer, senior network administrator, private security work, poet, author, mechanic, painter, model builder / kit basher, photographer, motorcyclist, hot rodder, scuba diver, hell, I’m not even going to list the rest of my hobbies which might take another half page. I have very little time to do what I want to do as it is. Maybe it is you who needs to get a ‘life’.

“Dude,”

First off, Sparky, only backwards cap and baggy pants wearing, Eminem listening, socially retarded high school dropouts begin any type of interpersonal communication with the word “dude.” And do try to join the rest of the human race in the 21st century by at least figuring out how to use a simple spellchecker. Doing so will keep you from looking like the inept semi-tard that you are when you attempt to use the simplest of words and get them all wrong.

“Fall of the Ninja one too many times??”

“Fall of the Ninja”? Huh? Is that some really bad kung-fu movie that I fortunately never saw on USA Up All Night? Oh, you must mean fall OFF (how do you fall OF something?). Judging from your humorous spelling errors which are rampant throughout this email, it looks like “Hooked On Phonics” really worked for you, “dude”.

Also, any experienced motorcyclist in the world will tell you that there are two kinds of motorcycle riders; those who have fallen off of their motorcycles and those who will. Sorry to burst your version of reality, but everyone falls, sooner or later, if you ride long enough. It’s just a matter of how you fall and if you know enough of how to land when you do as to whether you will get up in one piece and brush it off or if someone will be coming along shortly to carry you away for major reconstructive surgery. Please don’t kid yourself otherwise.

“You state, and I quote "I ride what I ride because that is my choice. That is my preference. I ride what I feel that I need to ride in order to enjoy my skills and my time spent riding." So why can't someone ride a Harley and enjoy what they ride?”

If you are going to quote me, Sparky, do so within the context intended. The words you are quoting me as saying constitutes a reply from me to an ignorant Harley rider who has just told me (first and very matter of factly) that not only should I get a real bike, but that I should sell my ‘Jap crap’ and get an American made bike. The quote you have chosen to use is merely me replying to someone who is socially and technologically ignorant (much as I am doing now). I am not starting the argument within the context of the quote, I am merely explaining my position.

“You are a narrow minded individual. Just because a crotch rocket goes faster than a cruiser, doesn't mean it's better. It all personal preference.”

You claim that I am a narrow minded individual not because of what you have actually read in my work or the facts presented therein, but for what you think you have read into my work and how that interpretation has hurt your tender little feelings. I would in turn have to call you a complete and utter fucking retard based upon your obvious lack of education, your numerous misspellings of simple words, your clueless nature, and your criminal ignorance.

That much aside, let me enlighten you on the crux of the argument. A sport bike, (or any motorcycle) built for performance will always be better, odds wise, when the chips are down and the hammer falls, than a bike built for luxury and touring.

Period.

In a world of totally oblivious, socially conforming morons driving around in great big heavy wheeled things blissfully ignorant of the conditions around them, if you ride a motorcycle that is not capable of escaping from danger or reacting instantly to a dangerous situation then you are a suicide waiting to happen. A lightweight frame, tight suspension, powerful engine, close ratio transmission, and big triple disc brakes with multi-piston calipers will always overcome a wush-mush ride, belt drive, weak motor, saddlebags, tassels, chrome, and a single wimpy disc with a backup drum in the rear, no matter how much officially licensed and endorsed accessories you put on your bike. Also, since the heavier an object is, the harder it is to stop and the longer it takes to stop, a 370 pound motorcycle is far superior to one that weighs 500 pounds or more, given the same amount of speed. If the safety hardware on the 370 pound motorcycle is far better than the hardware on the 500 pound motorcycle, the reaction times and stopping distances will be even greater in comparison. Suspension setup and geometry also play an important part in this argument, but the depths of that discussion would make your tiny head explode, so we won’t get into complex numbers and elementary physics at this juncture. You see, there is a thing called “inertia”, which coexists along with other scientific goodness like “rolling mass” and “power to weight ratio”, but then you would know that if you had ever made it to junior high.

“A v-twin will not, can not, produce the same power as an inline 4.”

I understand that (and you claim that you understand that) but try to explain that to all of the inbred redneck hillbillies who are stupid enough to believe otherwise. I run into these cretins all the time, walking rejects from the brain donor program who think that a Harley making (barely) 50 something horsepower is going to hand me my ass when I’m on a bike that is 200 pounds lighter and has almost three times the horsepower and does the quarter mile, from the factory, in over two and a half to three seconds faster than they can ever hope to achieve and its going to do this simply because it’s a Harley or it’s American made.

I’ve lost track of the number of Harley pseudo-owners I’ve met who beat their chest and bragged about their all-powerful American made V-twin motor and all of its infinite power and glory, yet when asked a simple maintenance question, they couldn’t even show me where to add oil to their motor or tell me what size their engine was. In other words, all of their logic was based on propaganda that they had read out of a dealer brochure or a catalog.

My argument is not for raw power, per se, because power is nothing if you can’t get it all to the street. Power is no good if you can’t use every last bit of it and that is where technology and experience, coming together to create an ultra modern suspension and drive train, really pay off in the realm of safety and response. Many times on my site I quote my own personal motto which is:

“walk softly and carry a big stick.”

What that means is, always ride responsibly but have an ace up your sleeve for the hard times. If you have to ride at a hundred percent or more in order to save your life, when danger presents itself, then you better have the balls, the experience, and the serious enough hardware to back it up, instead of tooling around on some wimp ass posercycle that is designed for show only and which you bought to stroke your ego and impress the average buffkin at the bait and tackle shop. The argument is for safety, and having a motorcycle that has the best hardware that technology can provide in the area of weight, power, handling, and braking is just common sense. Anything less is asking to wind up in the hurt locker or the next contestant on the game of “Is there a God?”.

“As for HD owners being lemmings, then what are you by following the same pathetic mentality as other squids?”

I love your inept logic, Sparky. It is so simple, yet so naïve. It pains my soul to know that there are people out there who actually has such an incredibly low reading comprehension level as you possess. You are like the ignorant Harley pseudo-owners, in that you ride with your feelings on your sleeve and your eyes staring down the line of your nose at the road. You do not think, rather you act, on simple impulse. You act on how you feel and you judge your opinion by what others may think of you or how they will perceive you. Morons like you are always using your heart and your feelings instead of your brain, and that is patently dangerous. Of course, it helps to have a brain in the first place when you ride but you have offered no proof of ownership of that vital piece of equipment thus far.

I am not a squid, Sparky.

Far from it.

Your implication of me being a squid clearly indicates that you don’t know what a squid is, otherwise you would have known different. You also have not read my site very thoroughly or you would never have willingly opened yourself to this line of argument.

I make fun of squids, I actively police all motorcycle brands and groups of riders, because I have high standards which I set for myself. As I do not consider myself to be the greatest example of a human being to ever walk this Earth, I therefore find it unacceptable that someone with far more capability and skill and than I have would settle for being far less of a human being, let alone be proud of it. I do not tolerate public displays of immature behavior nor do I advocate it. I ride my sport bike like other people ride their cruisers and standards, riding at seventy to eighty percent of my skill on the road, keeping the rest in reserve for emergencies, depending on my skill and my experience to tell me when to ride hard, and my chosen hardware to carry me through when the situation requires. Speed has a place and a time, the crowded street is not the place, nor the time. Squids also often ride in large groups so they can get that mutual circle jerk action going.

I ride alone.

It’s by choice, not circumstance.

“BTW, I DO NOT own a Harley, I ride Red. Honda Shadow ACE.”

Ah! Rampant commercial brand identification rears its laughable head. I like to ride Red too, always have. Honda builds some incredible motorcycles, all based upon technology (unlike Milwaukee), not image (like Milwaukee). I’ve owned several Hondas and never had a problem with any of them. I’ve owned one Kawasaki Ninja, the ZX-6R model, bought it brand new when the model was first introduced and at that time it was the most powerful 600 in the world packing the most advanced technology in the 600cc class (the main reason I bought the bike). Kawasaki today does not make a bike that truly stirs my soul nor mildly tempts my wallet. My next bike will either be a fuel injected Suzuki GSX-R750 or the new Honda CBR600RR. Odds are currently still on the Gixxer, for a future turbocharging project, but the double R is intriguing for its radical design and the ultra-high technology that it is built upon.

The point I would raise is, if you are so much against my views, if you want to get along with everyone, then why would it matter what you ride or who made it? To people like you, a motorcycle is a motorcycle is a motorcycle and we’re all just one happy group of brothers and sisters linked together by two wheels and a common passion. What a bunch of touchy feely liberal horsespit. Why would you need to tell me that you ‘ride Red’ unless you somehow thought that the brand that you rode made a difference or was better than some other brand?

I’m sure that if someone walked up to you and told you to get a real bike, an American bike instead of that Jap piece of crap cheap ass copy of a Harley that you choose to ride, you would have a few choice words for them as well, most of them probably not very nice, and you would declare somewhere in the argument that you ‘ride Red’ and you are proud of it. Yet you claim that when I do the very same thing, with me on the defensive in an argument, that I’m ‘bad’ or ‘narrow minded’ in my views.

Wrong, Sparky.

Next.

"If you can't ride fast, if you can't ride well, then by all means, get something that is slower, get something that makes you look good." Quick physics lesson - the faster an object on two wheels goes, the easier it is to keep it upright.”

So, are we riding motorcycles or gyroscopes? 

You have again chosen to quote me in the wrong context but fear not for I will once more quickly set you upon the straight path to truth. This quote which you have lifted is me being facetious to the ignorant Harley riders. When some inbred redneck stumpfuck hill scoggin tells me to get a real bike, I examine the situation, weigh my position, and look at the logic of their argument. Let’s look at it like I do…

There I am sitting on my brand new 380 pound, 600cc, 95 horsepower, race heritage born sport bike which cost me $7000 and they compare it to their 680 pound, 58 horsepower, 1300cc, outdated copy of a sixty year old design that costs $19,000 without all the accessories. My bike handles like it was on rails and theirs handles like a pregnant yak. Yeah, I can see where the real bike is: I’m sitting on the real bike and they aren’t. Of course, you can’t explain that to these brand worshipping monglotards because if you even try, all they’ll do is just start to foam at the mouth, speak in tongues, dance around their bike waving their arms like they were trying to resurrect Dale Earnhardt’s ghost from beyond the grave, and occasionally stare at the sun while trying to elevate flatulence to an art form.

Since I’m explaining this to you for your benefit, my quote above is me telling the average Harley-tard that if they can’t ride a 400 pound bike well, then what in the hell makes them think they can ride a 600 pound bike well? In other words, “just because you can’t ride, doesn’t mean you should.” If you can’t ride a 400 pound bike well, then you certainly don’t need to go out and buy a 600 pound bike. Period. That is what my quote means above, another quote which you took out of context.

“I do not wish to do more than the legal speed limit. I like having a ride that looks good getting from point A to point B, and people can see my bike while doing that.”

Now, if you had given my site more than a cursory glance, Sparky, then you would have found that your attitude matched my philosophy exactly when it comes to owning a sport bike, but then that goes back to your apparent reading / comprehension disability. If you don’t want to go faster than the legal speed limit, then sell your Shadow and get a scooter, because your Shadow will blow away all legal speed limits and then some. Me, I like having as much edge and as many aces up my jacket sleeve as I can get, hence I ride the most powerful bike I can afford. Anything less is unacceptable to me. As a police officer, I understand safety and taking precautions to save your own life. I don’t wear cheap body armor, I don’t use cheap ammunition, cheap weapons, I don’t skip training or weapon maintenance, and I don’t ride slow as hell weak ass motorcycles like the rest of the fashion fellating trend monkeys out there choose to do. I know what my life is worth and it certainly is worth a lot more than riding around on super expensive, obsolete junk.

"A sport bike isn't a motorcycle, it's more like an extension of your body, your mind, your heart, and your soul." Sound slike it's your version of the said prothstetic attachment.”

Wrong again, Sparky. There’s a big difference between an extension, and a replacement. Since apparently you don’t even understand the simple concept of tools and how they work, I will attempt to bring you out of the stone age.

My ratchet set has many extensions. These extensions let me do my work easier and allow me to reach into hard to access places. The extensions magnify my muscle power, multiplying my ability to work and easing my work load considerably. Each of these extensions works with the ratchet, it is not a replacement for the ratchet. Now that I have explained to you what an extension and what a replacement is, let’s review the quote you have erroneously lifted above. A sport bike is an extension of your body, because it allows you to do more, it focuses your skill and enhances your ability, building upon your experience and letting you use every bit of experience and skill that you have. A sport bike does not hamper your skill, it does not seek to retard you in your ability, or handicap your capability as a rider.

A sport bike isn’t an ego enhancement, it isn’t a strap-on dildo for the penile size challenged, and it isn’t a kickstand for your otherwise inadequate ego, at least my sport bikes never have been and I’ve owned quite a few. My bike does not determine my character or my being, it doesn’t determine my sum worth as a human being, it does not determine who I am, what I am, or where in society I stand. My sport bike does not determine what friends I make or who I can hang out with nor does it determine how I will dress or how I will act when I ride it. My bike does not rule my life.

My sport bike is a tool, it is an extension of my skill, it is an extension of my experience, and it is an extension of my body when I ride. If you had ever actually ridden a sport bike you would know that… and this point of the argument would therefore be moot.

“You also make a comment about all HD riders looking alike with their chaps and jackets and vests. Well at least they don't look like circus clowns wearing a multitude of florescent colors.”

No, they look like inbred rednecks who would be as much at home in a trailer park as they would at a NASCAR or WWF event or drinking beer at the local laundromat.   They look like circus clowns from the S&M circus.  And for your information, I don’t look like a circus clown, Sparky, far from it. Not unless circus clowns in your area dress in solid black leather and Kevlar gloves, black full face helmet, black leathers, and black riding boots, which would probably make for some pretty scary circus clowns, now wouldn’t it? I also do not dye my hair to match my bike, or wear colored contacts, or have a tattoo of the logo and name brand of bike that I ride (like so many Harley owners are prone to do). I choose not to slather my body in company approved apparel (like so many Harley owners are prone to do) thereby turning myself into a prepaid walking billboard in an act that is supposed to say that I’m a patriotic American when half of the stuff is made in China or Mexico. Harley has created an entire industry dedicated to dressing the ignorant scoggins in corporate approved clothing and accessories to further their image and rake in the money.

Maybe you would see the difference if you ever got your ass off the middle of the fence and came down and rode around with the rest of us real serious motorcycle riders. Until you do, you’re JAFO.

“There is plenty of room on the road for all riders of all makes and models.”

What a middle of the fence walking, Twinkie-dick viewpoint!

Wrong again, Sparky. There is no room for idiots on the road or for the people who won’t put the idiots in their place. If you won’t speak out against idiocy, then you, by default, support idiocy. I target the idiots in life, in all walks, makes and models, domestic or import, four wheels, two wheels, or whatever. I’ll lash into a squid far quicker than I will lash into a Harley rider because that squid is directly affecting the perceived image of my bike and my chosen riding style. The difference between myself and the typical Harley rider is that I choose to point out when people are wrong, when they are acting ridiculous, when they are being stupid, and when they are working to tear down the sport that I enjoy, even if they are on a bike just like mine. I will go after my own kind quicker than I will a different breed or brand, because I do not fear being ostracized. I do not fear not being allowed to join some group or being banned from some gathering of like minded, easily confused, identically dressed conformists. I’m not afraid to step on your toes, hurt your feelings, and I don’t pull any punches. If the truth hurts, too bad. No one in life said you wouldn’t ever get your feelings hurt or that life was going to be all happy happy, joy joy all the time. If they did, then here’s big news for you, Sparky.

They lied.

"You won't see me going around to every rider about to get on a Harley and saying "Hey, you! Why don't you get a real bike!" - Uh.......what are you doing throughout this whole tyraid??”

Sparky, you really don’t have the first fucking clue at all in life, now do you? Your inept logic is so easy to refute, but damn, it sure is funny to read and wade through.

I am responding to individuals.  Again, the quote you choose to try to turn around for your own purposes is a reply from me to an ignorant individual, a reply which you have totally misunderstood and taken out of context to further your pathetic attempt at an argument. While I will not tell someone to get a real bike (thereby beginning an argument), I will reply to them if they tell me to get a real bike (thereby joining the argument), and I won’t be kind when I do so. If some inbred redneck hillbilly pulls up next to me on his beat up old paint shaker and sneers at me with all of his brand new made in China Harley apparel on and tells me some clichéd, canned old drivel, I’m going to tell him not only what he can do, but where he can do it as well and how soon he can do it.

Otherwise, I tend to ignore Harley riders when I ride as they just aren’t the smartest people in the world (intellectually, financially, or otherwise) and life is too short to start conversations with blithering idiots. If you are dumb enough to buy a Harley… you’re not on the same level of the food chain that I am, and therefore, I don’t really want to start a deep discussion about quantum physics or anything else that would make their heads explode. Not that they would be able to discuss quantum physics or any similar thought provoking subject. When you talk to a Harley owner, probably the first thing you are going to hear them ask you is “So, do you think there’ll ever be anybody gooder than Dale Earnhardt?” or “Did you catch that wrestling match on satellite this weekend?”

Harley Davidson: Simple minds, simple pleasures.

“You have said that a Harley isn't a real bike. At least most Harley riders will tell you to your face, you hide behind a web page.”

Oh, goody. The old ‘you hide behind a webpage’ angle. I hide behind a web page? Here’s a free clue, Sparky. My webpage is private. I pay for all of the expenses and I maintain the site myself. I even give you a free public area to hang out in and respond if you want to. I hardly call that ‘hiding’. You have to look for my site, or follow a link that some blubbering scoggin posted in a private message board for members only. If anyone hides behind websites, it is all the private Harley owner forums out there. I’ve followed the network traffic back to many a private forum where my site was discussed without the benefit of me being able to join the group and have a logical argument.

The people who claim that I hide behind my site are often the biggest hypocrites in the world and some prime examples of why Darwin should rethink his theories. I have nothing to hide, in fact, I’m pretty overt and open about how I feel, on my site and in the real world as well. That probably surprises the hell out of spineless conformists such as yourself.

I don’t advertise my site and I don’t charge admission. Everything in my domain is either an interest or a hobby of mine and I couldn’t care less if you visit my domain or not. Really. If you never came to my site ever again, I wouldn’t lose any sleep over it. At all. In fact, I really wish that stupid people such as yourself wouldn’t come to my site or send me poorly written email / death threats. But then, if you didn’t, what would I have to make fun of?

As my site is unadvertised and personal (as opposed to private, which would mean that I only let in certain people), you have to come to me, and you have to send me email on your own. That means that you are here of your own free will. Please don’t think that I post all of my opinions on my website yet don’t say the same exact thing in real life because I’m somehow scared to. What you see here is what you get in real life. Trust me on that, Sparky.

So, I have an opinion that is different from yours, and for that, I get death threats and poorly written emails from NASCAR loving trailer park trash. Do you really think I hide behind my webpage? Boy, you are one hell of a virgin, cherry all the way down to your boots (which probably aren’t even scuffed). You didn’t have to come here, Sparky, No one pointed a gun to your head and made you read my opinion. If my opinion bothered you, if the words that I typed over 12 years ago (words that are even more relevant today) hurt your teeny, tiny little middle of the fence sitting feelings, then you must have a pretty fucking thin skin. If some Harley owner comes here, and gets their feelings hurt, and lashes into me about how I’m not an American or how I don’t ride a real bike, and they use lemming logic and tired old clichés to do it, then that is the exact pretend biker that I’m going after and they get what they deserve.

This is MY site, Sparky.

I didn’t invite you here, you came here of your own free will. Any interaction you choose to partake in with regard to this site is instituted by you and you alone.

I make the rules here. This is my site. If you don’t like the rules, you are welcome to go lick a dog’s ass until it bleeds.

“Not only have you bashed HD with your assenine remarks, but the whole cruiser community as well.”

Once again, you are stone cold wrong in your comprehension of my work. Oh, and by the way, if you are going to insult my work, please at least have the common decency to get the spelling right on your insult. Nothing takes the steam out of an insult quicker than being an inept retard who can’t even spell the attack right.

However, I did find your comment funny, since many cruiser owners don’t see my site the way that you do (i.e. “incorrectly”). You’re one of a very small minority. As much email as I receive, I get about one cruiser owner every six months who feels that I’ve stepped on their dick in one way or the other. I get compliments on my site from both Harley riders and standard / cruiser owners as well as non-Japanese import bike owners. In fact, one of the quotes on my site (here we go with your reading / comprehension disability again) states clearly:

“Honda Valkyrie- the made in America motorcycle that America wishes it could make.”

I love that quote because it is so true. Does that sound like I’m anti-standard and anti-cruiser? Far from it. I’m very much anti-Harley and pro-import. Harley builds junk, pure and simple, it has for decades. They couldn’t even figure out how to get any decent power out of their tired old irrigation pump turned engine so they had to go to Porsche to build them a new engine. The most powerful Harley out there today has an import engine. And on the eve of war with Iraq and against terrorism, Germany won’t stand beside us as our ally. I laugh my ass off at that. Milwaukee is in good company for being patriotic.

Oh, and go and read the support page of my site. You truly are in a very small minority and the company you are keeping includes mostly ignorant goat fucking hillbillies. My site is pro-import, that is sport bike / cruiser / standard, what ever. Import covers Japanese, German, Italian, or any bike not made in America. Sorry you missed that rather obvious point as well.

“I have respect for any rider, no matter what they ride. Cruiser, sport, standard, naked street, dirt, moped, whatever.”

Yeah, most middle of the fence riding puss-tards say that. It makes you feel better when you look in the mirror. It’s also because you don’t have the balls to stand up for anything because you are afraid you might hurt someone else’s feelings and not be compassionate in this touchy-feely world we live in. Sorry, I don’t suffer from your liberal weakness. I have no respect for idiots, slackers, losers, posers, or wannabes.

I call it like I see it, no punches pulled. I guess there are a lot of other people out there like myself who feel the same way, otherwise my site wouldn’t be as popular as it is and other cruiser / standard / sport bike riders wouldn’t send me all the support that I get.

“I believe you said it was all about personal choice. Why not allow other riders the freedom and respect you so badly complain about.”

Because people are sheep, Sparky. There’s a difference between personal choice, and buying into a lifestyle because you are gullible and too stupid to know otherwise. I guess you missed that point as well, which means that you really didn’t understand the first fucking thing that you read on my site.

Overall, this email has been somewhat interesting, but your misspelled words and your grammatical retardation suggests at best that you have a sixth grade education. Work on that reading / comprehension thing, it might just come in handy one day.

Oh, yeah, and your lesson on physics, about how it is easier to keep something upright the faster it is going ... My suggestion is that you never slow down, otherwise you run the risk of falling off the middle of the fence that you call home and landing on either one side or the other, down here among all of us real bikers.

Simp.

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