MURPHY'S LAWS OF COMBAT
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• If the enemy is in range, so are you.
• Incoming fire has the right-of-way.
• Don't look conspicuous; it draws fire.
• There is always a way, and it usually doesn't work.
• The problem with the easy way out is that it has already been mined.
• Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo.
• Veterans are predictable; it's the replacements that are dangerous.
• The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions: when you're ready for them and when you're not ready for them
• Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy someone else to shoot at.
• If you can't remember, then the claymore mine is pointed towards you.
• The enemy diversion you've been ignoring will be the main attack.
• A "sucking chest wound" is Nature's way of telling you to slow down.
• If your attack is going well, then it's an ambush .
• Never draw fire, it irritates everyone around you.
• Anything you do can get you shot, including doing nothing.
• Anything that is hard to get into is also hard to get out of.
• If you're short of everything except the enemy, then you're in combat.
• Always question life preservers mounted in tanks.
• When you've secured the area, don't forget to tell the enemy.
• Never forget that your equipment, even your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.
• Friendly fire isn't.
• Suppressive fire won't.
• If the platoon sergeant can see you, then so can the enemy.
• The most dangerous thing in the world is a Second Lieutenant with a map and a compass.
• There is no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole.
• Five-second fuses only last three seconds.
• Remember, a retreating enemy is probably just regrouping for a counterattack.
• If at first you don't succeed call in an air strike.
• If at first they don't succeed, they will make you try again.
• Success occurs when no-one is looking; failure occurs when the high brass is watching.
• Interchangeable parts aren't.
• A clean (and dry) set of BDUs is a magnet for mud and rain.
• Whenever you have plenty of ammo, you never miss; whenever you are low on ammo, you can't hit the broad side of a barn.
• The more a weapon costs, the farther away you will have to send it for repairs and the longer it will take to get back to you.
• Field experience is something you don't get until after you need it.
• If it's stupid but it works, then it isn't stupid.
• No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection.
• It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.
• No inspection-ready unit has ever passed combat.
• When in doubt, empty the magazine.
• Once the pin is pulled, the grenade is no longer your friend.
• Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you are.
• No matter which way you have to march, it's always uphill.
• Beer math is 2 beers X 37 men = 49 cases.
• Body count math is 3 bodies + 1 partial body = 30 KIA.
• Tracers work both ways.
• You aren't the only one with pre-planned artillery fire.
• The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
• Air support is always two minutes away, until you need it.
• Radios fail as soon as you desperately need fire support.
• The transport will always get you to your DZ -- give or take a few miles.
• If you take out more than your fair share of objectives, you will be given more than your fair share to take.
• Both sides are convinced that they are about to lose -- and they are both right.
• Mines have no loyalty.
• A Purple Heart just proves that you were smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive.
• Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last, and don't ever volunteer to do anything.
• The quartermaster only has two sizes: too large and too small.

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